I don’t know how to bring this up or phrase it- it’s an odd topic and I don’t want to look like a selfish person or vain; but I’m hoping someone else out there can relate and be all like ‘oh yeh I get ya’ and offer me super great advice as you typically do.
Anyways, amidst my good intentions to help out others who have gone through similar issues to me- not through this blog by the way- someone I know closely (which I think affected me more), I found myself double guessing myself for the first time in a very long time. Whilst she was putting it all out there- her doubts, fears, issues I felt like oh yeah what if that happens or what if I don’t etc. I felt myself making her issues affect mine. Maybe it’s because I’m not fully recovered- are we ever though?- or maybe I was just having a crappy day…I mean I was at uni all day.
But it sucks- I want to be there for people without having to worry about how it could affect me. I think because I can emphasise so easily with the issues- because they are SO similar to what I use to think/feel- that it brings up past feelings? And they’re the kind of things you can’t just experience and forget. It’s going to be a part of me forever, but I want it to be a part that affects me in a positive way and makes me stronger; not something that drags me down.
Maybe it’s just another trigger? I know there’s some blogs that I no longer read because I saw them admit they had a problem but then did nothing to get better or some half ass attempt- but then again I’ve been there so whom am I to say that’s not just a phase we all go through before investing it all?
Anyways, this was just a ramble and I’ll have a heavier post coming for you soon along the lines of emotional eating.
Your turn to share:
- Can you relate?
- Any advice?