When A Risk Pays Off

So as part of NaBloPoMo’s Risk theme for March,┬áthere’s the option to participate in the daily prompts.

NaBloPoMo March 2013

Once I saw today’s prompt I knew I wanted to share this with you guys. The prompt was,

Name a time when a risk you took paid off.

I’ve said it before- I like routine and the ‘usual‘ and I’m not one to usually take risks. Although I’m not your frequent risk taker, I’ve taken the odd risk every now and again. Training in BodyStep and BodyAttack, starting this blog, beginning weight training and the occasional kitchen risk (with both good and bad outcomes mind you ha).

But probably the most life changing risk to date would be when I first decided I had enough of my disordered eating habits and to start recovery. It’s probably been a year or so that I really committed to changing my ways. Honestly, it’s the hardest thing I have done but it’s a risk that definitely paid off.

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How is it a risk? If only I had the time to type out the issues, pain and tears I went through in recovery- and still go through. It’s gotten easier and will continue to, but will probably always affect me in some way (even in the utmost minor sense).

I was giving up my way of life. I had been like that for so long I didn’t know any different. It took over me and I no longer was myself. I was the ED. I risked relapsing, gaining weight, hating myself, loosing control, eating sugar and all that stuff.

But you know what. I’d do it again, because it was absolutely worth it.

It’s bloody hard I won’t lie but it’s worth every pain wrenching second (don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad though).

I wasn’t living. I was absorbed by something and became someone different.

I now have a better relationship with Simon, my parents, family and friends. I am more in touch with my body now, and am growing to appreciate and love it more and more.

But really all I need to say is I’m alive and I am living life.

Could I say I was doing those things before I took the risk? …. It’d be hard to prove.

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Tell me when a risk has paid off for you?

7 comments

  1. Ally says:

    This is great Bek! I took have taken risks – stepping into my first ever Attack class was a risk, finally working up the courage to train to be an instructor was a risk, taking on 3 different programs was a risk.

    My most recent risk has also been admitting that I have issues with eating and overtraining. It’s amazing how the simple act of actually putting it out there and admitting it to someone, anyone, can make such a big difference to the way you percieve yourself and the problem. I now feel that because Ive put it out there, I have a stronger support network and I will be able to move forward.
    A risk which has definitely paid off!

    You blog is super inspiring
    xxx

    • BekatCrave says:

      Thanks Ally! Definitely!
      Awesome- I’m so glad you’ve seen the benefits of taking a risk, thanks for sharing.
      Aww, why thank you- means a lot :) x

  2. Kloe says:

    Hey Bek,

    I’m so happy to hear that deciding to recover was one of your best decisions yet, and I couldn’t agree more!
    I’m sure you’re experiencing the utter liberation and freedom that comes with accepting your body and learning to love it, even though there will still be a few bumps in the road- it’s overall an amazing, rewarding experience.

    Keep going girl!

    :)

    xx
    Kloe recently posted…NEDA Week.My Profile

    • BekatCrave says:

      Hey girl! Yes, it’s definitely hard but the good times make those tough ones SO worth it.
      You too! xx

  3. [...] When A Risk Pays Off [...]

  4. Hi Bek,
    Congrats on recovery! Giving up the old habits and lifestyle of ED isn’t easy at all, and I still struggle with it, so I always appreciate reading about others experiences overcoming the struggle and finding recovery!
    Purple Dreamer recently posted…30 Day Recovery Challenge: Day 13My Profile

    • BekatCrave says:

      Hey! Lovely to meet you.
      Aww thank you! Well you’ll read lots of stuff about ED experiences- look forward
      to hearing from you more. Feel free to share your story on the posts too :)
      xx

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