Helloooooooo! And how are you on this fantastic Friday?
I don’t know why I described it as fantastic because it’s been pretty meh for me. But there’s nothing like a bit of positivity and optimism to brighten your day right?
My day involved a very quick weight session this morning. I hate feeling rushed like I did this morning- next time I’m going to make the conscious effort to wake up earlier or just make it my rest day. After gym I meandered off to uni, that is before scoffing down breakfast- which made for uncomfortable stomach cramps in the car ha.
Lucky for me uni went pretty quickly and I slowly feel like I’m getting into the groove of it a little more. Especially after chatting with my therapist about it yesterday. I did go over part of my session with you yesterday on my anxiety and food issues, but haven’t had a chance to discuss my anxiety and uni stuff.
Anxiety & Uni
I’ve mentioned a couple of times that where I see myself going in terms of career has changed. Much of this has to do with how I’ve changed. I’m very health and fitness driven now and I’d say it’s one of my life passions (if you couldn’t tell from the blog already ha!). In terms of what I want to do ’when I grow up’ so to speak, I’m now nearing towards a career based on these things. Actually, I’m already teaching group fitness classes and totally loving it. Training in BodyStep and BodyAttack was one of the best decisions I ever made. I absolutely love it and actually want to spend my life doing it.
Unfortunately, I’m in my fourth and final year of primary school teaching- and whilst I still enjoy it, at times I despise it as it takes away from my other loves- fitness & health. To be honest, I’d be perfectly happy never teaching in primary school but I couldn’t say the same for fitness. However, I’ve spent three hard and long years (and three years of HECS debt) doing my university course so I’m not about to give all that up. But I want to.
I so want to; and combine that with the ‘back to uni’ itch you normally get, you could say I was a mess coming into my final year. I didn’t want to be there- I even recall saying I hated it. I began to not want to do anything just to avoid the feeling of being disappointed when I had to turn my focus onto uni.
It was made worse by the fact that everyone around me was saying ‘you’ve got to do it’, ‘only one more year’ or ‘you haven’t got long left’. Whilst they were probably trying to be encouraging, it just put more pressure on me- particularly the first one. I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I had to do it.
That’s where my therapist chimed in and reminded me that I did have a choice and it was my choice to continue on in my course. He told me I have responsibility and I need to own that responsibility.
We discussed my options and came to the conclusion- which I always knew I’d take: that I will finish my course and get my teaching degree. Even if it’s not what I want to do, it’s what I have chosen to do because it’s the path of least pain. Deferring would only prolong and put off the issue. Stopping completely would put me in a position where I could become financially pressured and end up regretting the decision.
I guess what helped is how I changed the why [See my earlier Why post]. It no longer became a choice I made for other people or because I had to; but because I wanted to. I want to have options for my future. I want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.
I always knew that taking responsibility in terms of food and eating was important, but by taking responsibility in my other life choices I’ve managed to change my mentality. I’m not super thrilled- don’t get me wrong, but I am determined to finish, do well and then make a career decision at the end of the year from a range of choices that I’ll have. This for me has reduced the anxiety I had previously associated with attending uni.
And maybe it’s something that you’d like to try to? Whether that issue be causing you stress, anxiety or just a lot of crappy moments- why not adjust your mentality by taking responsibility for your life decisions.
- What do you NEED to start taking responsibility for?