Taking Responsibility

Helloooooooo! And how are you on this fantastic Friday?

I don’t know why I described it as fantastic because it’s been pretty meh for me. But there’s nothing like a bit of positivity and optimism to brighten your day right?

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My day involved a very quick weight session this morning. I hate feeling rushed like I did this morning- next time I’m going to make the conscious effort to wake up earlier or just make it my rest day. After gym I meandered off to uni, that is before scoffing down breakfast- which made for uncomfortable stomach cramps in the car ha.

Lucky for me uni went pretty quickly and I slowly feel like I’m getting into the groove of it a little more. Especially after chatting with my therapist about it yesterday. I did go over part of my session with you yesterday on my anxiety and food issues, but haven’t had a chance to discuss my anxiety and uni stuff.

Anxiety & Uni

I’ve mentioned a couple of times that where I see myself going in terms of career has changed. Much of this has to do with how I’ve changed. I’m very health and fitness driven now and I’d say it’s one of my life passions (if you couldn’t tell from the blog already ha!). In terms of what I want to do ‘when I grow up’ so to speak, I’m now nearing towards a career based on these things. Actually, I’m already teaching group fitness classes and totally loving it. Training in BodyStep and BodyAttack was one of the best decisions I ever made. I absolutely love it and actually want to spend my life doing it.

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Unfortunately, I’m in my fourth and final year of primary school teaching- and whilst I still enjoy it, at times I despise it as it takes away from my other loves- fitness & health. To be honest, I’d be perfectly happy never teaching in primary school but I couldn’t say the same for fitness. However, I’ve spent three hard and long years (and three years of HECS debt) doing my university course so I’m not about to give all that up. But I want to.

I so want to; and combine that with the ‘back to uni’ itch you normally get, you could say I was a mess coming into my final year. I didn’t want to be there- I even recall saying I hated it. I began to not want to do anything just to avoid the feeling of being disappointed when I had to turn my focus onto uni.

It was made worse by the fact that everyone around me was saying ‘you’ve got to do it’, ‘only one more year’ or ‘you haven’t got long left’. Whilst they were probably trying to be encouraging, it just put more pressure on me- particularly the first one. I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I had to do it.

That’s where my therapist chimed in and reminded me that I did have a choice and it was my choice to continue on in my course. He told me I have responsibility and I need to own that responsibility.

Take Responsibility for your life & the choices you make within it 2

We discussed my options and came to the conclusion- which I always knew I’d take: that I will finish my course and get my teaching degree. Even if it’s not what I want to do, it’s what I have chosen to do because it’s the path of least pain. Deferring would only prolong and put off the issue. Stopping completely would put me in a position where I could become financially pressured and end up regretting the decision.

I guess what helped is how I changed the why [See my earlier Why post]. It no longer became a choice I made for other people or because I had to; but because I wanted to. I want to have options for my future. I want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.

I always knew that taking responsibility in terms of food and eating was important, but by taking responsibility in my other life choices I’ve managed to change my mentality. I’m not super thrilled- don’t get me wrong, but I am determined to finish, do well and then make a career decision at the end of the year from a range of choices that I’ll have. This for me has reduced the anxiety I had previously associated with attending uni.

And maybe it’s something that you’d like to try to? Whether that issue be causing you stress, anxiety or just a lot of crappy moments- why not adjust your mentality by taking responsibility for your life decisions.

  • What do you NEED to start taking responsibility for?

7 comments

  1. Ally says:

    Hi Bek,
    I found myslef in the same boat half way through my design degree. I fell in love with fitness and wanted to pursue a career in health instead. However, my parents convinced me to finish the degree so that I had somethign to show for my 3 years of work (so glad they did now) and at least then I would have it in future if I wanted it. Fast forward 2 years and I am now studying exercise science, but freelancing the design on the side for health/fitness clients! Perfect! Things have a way of working out.
    You could end up being a Phys Ed teacher!
    xxx

    • BekatCrave says:

      Hey Ally,

      I’m glad you didn’t regret sticking it out- it definitely helps me think that it’s all worth it. Oh awesome!
      Haha, yeahhh who knows aye ;)
      Thanks for your positive input, you’ve made me feel better about the choice :)
      xx

  2. As you probably know, I can relate to this! I never really knew what I wanted to do as a career. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years wanting to be a vet, but then I was about 15 I decided I wanted to be a journalist. The first year of my degree was hell and not what I expected at all. I considered dropping out and switching into something else, but there was nothing really pulling me. I had the grades to go into medicine, but I missed the entrance exam so I would have had to wait another year (meaning two years post high school, plus a six+ year degree ahead of me). I considered doing nursing and even studying to be a dietician (this was even before I was fitness obsessed so I must have had some innate knowledge of what was to come!) but I eventually decided to stick it out one more semester and see if things improved.

    They did, and I remembered why I wanted to be a journalist. I absolutely love writing and it is still my passion, along with fitness. I luckily got two years experience working in the field before I switched to doing personal training, so it didn’t feel like I totally wasted my degree. Whenever I meet a new person and I tell them what I used to do, they often think I’m crazy for making the switch to PT. I haven’t given up journalism forever – we’re just on a temporary hiatus :)

    I think the most important thing in life is to find something that makes you happy. You spend so much of your life working, so why do something that keeps you miserable?? I hated my job in Sydney and I was only 21-22! I remember thinking, if this is what it’s like now, how am I going to withstand another 40+ years of hating my job?!? Life is too short. I’m making roughly the same amount of money now (although I had the potential to make significantly more as a journo) and I can honestly say that money means nothing. My quality of life is 1,000,000 times better and I am happy. Work never feels like work.

    Can you combine your two loves? When I used to teach dance, three of the other teachers were primary school teachers. They were able to work during the day at schools and then teach dance in the evenings, combining the best of both worlds. Otherwise my only suggestion is to flee the country and ditch your HECS debt like I did, lol ;)

    PS. WOW sorry for the novel – I guess you struck a nerve with me!
    Tara @ Sweat like a Pig recently posted…Post-surgery thoughtsMy Profile

    • BekatCrave says:

      Haha I went the journalist route at one time too, and the lawyer thing haha- never a vet though ;)
      Oh awesome! Well fitness and journalism can definitely work together :) I think you should look into doing some fitness journalism!! Combine both passions :) Whilst keeping your PT and stuff.

      Haha you suggested the same thing I did ;) So if you flee you don’t have to pay it? ;)
      Well the thing is that primary teaching especially in the beginning really absorbs all your time, atleast that’s what I hear from some (others say diff though- and many instructors are actually teachers too funnily enough!).

      Yeah, I agree! It doesn’t even feel like work- that’s what I want. I think I could do the whole PE teacher thing though because it’s less at home stuff I reckon- like you prep for classes but you don’t have as many responsibilities as the classroom teacher (this is an assumption on my behalf though). Plus I’ve heard some pe teachers don’t do all 5 days a week! I haven’t majored in pe but I have done a PE course, plus I could show my passion for health and fitness and other fitness certifications?

      Don’t sweat it! Thanks for sharing and chatting- it helps me work through it all :)

      • Oh yes, well my dream is to be a fitness journo! Thus why I got my PT certification in the first place – I wanted to have some credibility. I’ve been a PT for a year now so it’s about time I start chasing my journo dreams!

        You only have to pay your HECS debt if you’re making money in Australia. So technically I’m taking a huge risk because if I came back to the country when I was say, 50, I’d have to pay it then plus interest. I’m just banking on the fact that I’ll be in Europe forever!

        My best friend just started working as a primary school teacher two months ago. She says it is time consuming but you soon get the hang of it. A PE teacher is a great idea though! I could never do that though – I absolutely hated PE in school, funnily enough.
        Tara @ Sweat like a Pig recently posted…All about kettlebell trainingMy Profile

        • BekatCrave says:

          Oh cool! goodluck with that- keep us updated with how it all goes :)
          Oh true haha, yes well why would you ever leave ;) Just come back when your a famous journo and loaded ;)
          Oh cool! Yeahhh me to haha, but I would hope to teach them properly and not the way I got educated in pe.
          Also I see overweight teens and kids and wish I could do more. I’m able to help adults and next stop is the kids haha.
          :)

  3. [...] meh compared to what it was and I think that’s got a lot to do with uni starting back. I am taking responsibility for my choice but that doesn’t change the fact that uni absolutely blows. I wasn’t in [...]

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