Hey lovelies! How’s your Hump Day going? (referencing the fact that it’s Wednesday- I don’t have a perverted mind)
I know Crave has been a bit sporadic lately in terms of posting- sometimes it’s twice daily like usual and other days there’s only one post…like today.
But because I got a mixed bag of feedback to what you like (vote here!) I’ve felt less pressure to stick to the twice daily routine. Which is actually perfect because at the moment my anxiety is a bit higher and I’m feeling quite overwhelmed with uni going back.
Ha can you believe it took your wishy washy responses for me to actually be okay with posting daily. I tell ya, I give myself more hassle and stress than necessary sometimes.
I’ve also got some great responses to my Being Hungry Is Scary post that I posted last night. It’s always reassuring to know that others ‘get you’, or even if they don’t, that they are willing to listen and offer advice. I will report that today my hunger is under control. That sounds terrible I know- controlling my hunger…totally the opposite of my listen to my body kind of philosophy; but what I mean is that I’m eating as usual.
That word usual plays a big part in all of this. I’ve said before how I get comfortable with a certain routine and will freak out when changes occur- but after a while I’ll inevitably get use to those changes too. The problem: I wasn’t use to being that hungry. I wasn’t use to whatever I ate not filling me up like it typically does.
Unfortunately for me when it comes to food and eating, sometimes my rational understandings don’t exactly stick. I know what is rational and the obvious explanation but the problem is I don’t believe it, so I don’t think it.
I should have known that having two 9 hour days where majority of that time is spent burning absurd amount of calories is not the usual for my body either. Therefore it had to adjust to keep up. Unfortunately I neglected to adjust my eating for the days after (yeh yeh afterburn!).
It’s not fair actually, how I expect my body to adapt no questions asked but am very hesitant and almost defiant to adjust how I look after my body, and in particular how I refuel it.
But just like I became more comfortable with having just one post a day, I need to become comfortable with responding to my body’s needs. Not the needs of the routine.
Hmm, maybe permission is the secret key to unlocking it all? But should I need that? And whose permission and approval am I seeking? Mine or yours?
- Do you like routine?