FRIDAYYYYYY coming at ya!
(Source)
Friday for me meant that I taught a packed Body Step class- love getting lots of first timers, I foam rolled, drank lots of water- yes another sweaty, sweltering Summer day (triple s). As well as..
Having Soup for lunch.
Minestrone soup with wholegrain pasta, tofu & chia seeds.
Yes I’m that crazy chick who still eats soup at ridiculously hot temperatures.
And moving onto a new book.
Of course it had to be Jodi Picoult again and this time mum convinced me that Perfect Match was the way to go. I just finished Nineteen minutes and whilst I still enjoyed it I didn’t quite enjoy the outcome and twist as I did with the Pact (my fav) and House Rules.
How was your Friday?
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And now I’m going to be a rule breaker and go backtrack a little to my therapist appointment yesterday. Because I’m badass like that, plus I wanted a moment where I had plenty of time to write it all out.
In the hour we pretty much didn’t stop talking..or I didn’t stop talking, however you wanna see it. However the thing that probably hit me the hardest (like you know those moments where you’re like ‘gotta keep it together’) and that has managed to still linger today was about happiness and regrets.
He thinks that it is fantastic how dedicated I am to health and fitness etc but he is worried that my unhappiness with my current levels of health, fitness, appearance etc will cause nothing but regrets once I reach the end of my twenties. Apparently, the years I am enduring now (your teens + twenties) are the best years of your life, the highpoint so to speak. Without being all depressive and blunt he said that from your thirties onwards, in terms of health and fitness, it all goes downhill (I’m sure some of you out there would care to disagree, and I’d love to hear that!). I prefer not to see it like that but instead to portray it as more of an effort or struggle. We all know that at a certain age we can no longer eat whatever we want (however I’m still awe struck at when I went through this stage and hopeful that maybe it is still to come), we cannot exercise at the intensity we once use to and our bodies can’t rebound and repair like they could at their ripe young ages. Of course the varying degrees of this would alter according to health history, previous levels of exercise, current health etc etc (you get the drift).
Okay so I’m rambling- point of my story? He doesn’t want me spending my peak trying to be better out of fear that I’m not good enough, to then pass my peak and regret that I didn’t ‘live up’ those years. He placed a huge importance on happiness and how basically that’s the only thing that matters. But is it?
Being my cheeky and philosophical sense I posed a question to him- what if you have an obese, unhealthy person who claims they are happy (as they are)? (Is happiness all that matter then)
He then shot back- say you have an elite athlete at the peak of their career who is miserable, anxious, depression, suffers an eating disorder and struggles to get out of bed every morning.
Touche.
I guess his main concern here for me is- what is the point of it all if you’re not happy with it*? He then went on explaining that even if I reached the best (not just mine, in general terms) and I was everything (in terms of body size, fitness etc) I hoped to be I either (a) wouldn’t realise it or (b) still wouldn’t be happy.
And this is where I get him. Happiness really is everything.
Do you think happiness is everything? Whatever your opinion I’d love to hear from both sides!
*Wanted to point out that I am in fact happy with my life and it is a huge step up from where I once was. However, I’m not 100% happy with my body and I’m still working on getting to that harmonious point.
Im sitting hear nodding my head reading the above. I can put my hand up and say i believe happiness is very important but like most things you can either talk yourself into believing you already are happy or you dont realise when to stop wishing for more! I was an insecure pudgy teen who passed up soooo many opportunites because i was worried what other people might say or think. so because of that i have hardly any interesting, exciting or even meaningful memories to tell my children of my teenage years.. It wasnt until i had my own children who were growing up quickly that i realised i was wasting precious time by not getting out there and living life to the fullest. To cut a long story short, i got divorced, i met someone new, i had another child BUT most importantly i found happiness and my weight didnt bother me quite as much. Photos of me now show smiles and laughter and fun times instead of a tight lipped fake smile from an insecure UNHAPPY youth. How did i find that happiness, well i didnt really find it, it just happened, the right man in my life who made me feel special (surprising how my stretch marks dont seem so prominent now i have a man who tells me and shows me how much he loves me!!), the pride i felt and continue to feel as my children grow into lovely human beings, the HOME i created (thats far too small for our blended family) BUT is a loving home none the less and….. mainly ME… allowing myself to enjoy life and not worry quite so much what others might think of me (hard habit to break but putting yourself first SOMETIMES really makes sense). When i turned 30 i was at my lowest, i said out loud to some one “is it ok to say you are happy ENOUGH as aposed to REALLY happy?” i knew right then the answer was YES YOU JUST NEED TO BE HAPPY…BUT TRUELY HAPPY, not perfection, not
famous, not everyones favourite, not rich but also NOT PRETENDING……just REALLY HAPPY! Once i started to actually ask
myself what I wanted for myself & occassionaly put my thoughts and feelings ahead of others, i made changes (some drastic, some small) things started to fall into place. I became a better mum, a more affectionate wife (2nd husband got all the benefits!!) and a HAPPIER
HUMAN (and still pudgy!!). Stay happy Beck
HUMAN
Awww! Thank you so much for taking the time to write, share and express all this. I got goosebumps reading it and you’ve left a big smile on my face. I’m so glad you found your happy!
The only thing I would question from your convo with that guy is the fact that he referred to your 20s as your “peak”. I would have asked him to define ‘peak’. Child-bearing, maybe??? haha…but, I know a lot more 35 year olds who are in better physical shape and have much more clarity and happiness with their lives than they did 10 years prior. I see what he’s saying, but at the same time I think that so many people struggle in their 20s with figuring out what they want out of life- it can be a bit of a roller coaster. I would hesitate to think of it as ‘missing out in your peak years’…otherwise, what do we have to look forward to? I think it’s all just a learning process. Try not to think of it as a ticking time bomb- otherwise, happiness will be that much more difficult to achieve.
I still have a couple years to go before the big 3-0, but looking ahead, I hope to keep on climbing this mountain (not face my decent from it).
Happiness is definitely everything, but it starts with one’s state of mind! Have you read The Happiness Project? It’s a fun, light read, but thought-provoking too!!!
That is true. I guess he was trying to get at that our bodies in terms of fitness and health will be at their peak- those people may be healthier and fitter at 35, but if they decided to get fit and healthy when they were in their 20′s their fitness and health would be even a notch higher.
That is so true! Exactly, I was like well…that’s depressing haha. I probably didn’t articulate it as well as he did :S which is my bad haha.
Oh no I haven’t- I so should! It’s on my list! I’ve got to get through Perfect Match first- but it’s only a short one.
Thanks for sharing your point
I hope that things progress as I age! Well, at least we are working hard at our goals to help this! Happy Friday!
Haha, me too! Definitely
You too!
BULLSHIT. ‘Scuse my French
It is a fact that most people do not reach their physical peak until they hit their 30s. Look at all the top bodybuilders in the world – none of them are under 30. It takes years to gain muscle mass and sculpt the body you want. I’m not saying you have to go for the roided out Jay Cutler look, but it does take time to build a solid base of muscle – which you will never look ‘lean and toned’ without. I look a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was a skinny ass 18 year old!
Secondly, as long as you keep weight training, you will only get better with age. Nia Shanks just featured a guest blogger who is almost 50 and rocking it! I don’t know if you know this, but I didn’t until recently so I will share. The widely spread thought is that your metabolism slows down as you age. It isn’t actually your metabolism that slows down, but the fact that you’re losing muscle mass as you age that means you burn less calories day to day. If you maintain your muscle mass by continuing to lift weights as you age, your metabolism will stay the exact same. So all that baloney about being able to eat whatever you want when you’re 20 but only having to look at a slice of cake and gain weight when you’re 40 is NOT TRUE!
You are gorgeous as you are, and I’m all for celebrating the body you have, but there is no reason you can’t always be striving to be better (in a non-ED sense, of course). Wow, sorry for the novel! You got me fired up there
Haha! Love it when someone isn’t afraid to express their opinions!
Oh my god really?! Ahhh this is why I have you! To share your fantastic knowledge haha.
That’s what I thought- your burn less because you have less muscle and then your bones weaken etc etc. That’s why you gotta keep the weights up! Everyday I’m seeing more and more reasons to weight train and I’m so glad I’m doing it (and hopefully doing it right). PS. You’d love my all pink workout get-up (with matching shoes of course) that I was rocking in the weight room this morning
Aw thank you
Yes, I definitely think there is a difference between striving to be better and your ED striving to be better.
No, I love it! The more talk the better! It opens myself and others up to other possibilities. This is why I write posts like this, to work everyone up muahah.