If you follow me on twitter than you know I started my Saturday off with a weight session, and if you’re currently taking up residence in my legs you’ll know I’m feeling it. It was a typical full body workout with a few self improvements. I’ve already started to progress to heavier dumbbells for my chest press and my form for squats is improving as my range deepens. My hands are starting to ache a bit when I do dead lifts though so I might have to invest in gloves (or harden up) before I end up dropping the bar.
As mentioned yesterday my usual routine is starting to rear its’ head which means my Saturday will be spent working and breakfast will look like this. But in the midst of this routine it also means date night is on the cards. With Christmas being celebrated and New Years Eve to come I think we’ll keep it simple. Now now, don’t confuse simple with boring because Grill’d and Jersey Shore season 2 is anything but boring.
With all that aside let’s get chatting about todays’ topic post.
I wanted to talk about a topic that is particularly personal and albeit a little embarrassing for me. However, in saying that I know there are others out there, perhaps for the same reason as mine or alternatives, that are dealing with the same issue. Plus I know you guys are the sweetest ever so I’ve got nothing to worry about. Here we go..
I’m isolated- and I’ve done this to myself.
I’ve known for ages that I had shut myself off to people, friends in particular, for a while. I guess it started when things got serious with Simon. Could you blame me? I was a young girl with her first (and only) love! However, I was still somewhat social, especially during school. It was the first year post-high school graduation that I started to slowly disconnect from others- but that’s too be expected right? People go there separate ways, move, find new friends at universities etc. I still saw people but I began finding comfort in spending more time with my boy.
What really shut me out to the world though? My eating disorder. It controlled every aspect of my life, not just my food and exercise. I avoided any social situations that would require or perhaps see me take in extra calories, calories I didn’t account for or ‘scary’ unknown mystery calories.
Friends and a healthy social life was one of the many things my ED robbed me of.
I guess it really hit home with New Years coming up and everyone having their own things on. From what I’ve read, seen and heard it’s actually pretty common. It’s not just an ED thing by any means. People isolate themselves, intentionally and unintentionally, for a wide range of reasons that they may or may not be able to control.
Where to from here? Well it’s not going to be instantaneous but I am going to make more of an effort to catch up with friends (calories included!) and make my friendships and social events one of the many priorities in my life.
I didn’t write this for pity or attention but felt it was an issue in my life (just like it may be in yours) that I wanted to bring to light, in hope that I can somehow connect with a reader who may be feeling the exact same and to make my commitment to change my anti-social ways written, public and accountable.
Don’t get me wrong I am very blessed and do have amazing friends. But I am slowly growing further and further away from them and it’s got to stop. So will you keep me accountable?
Are you isolated from friends? Or perhaps from other people? How did you make the transition back?
Daily Healthy Thought: I will try.