Behind this post is all my therapist, he enlightened me to this way of thinking many times throughout our sessions. It was brought up when we discussed cognitive distortion, perfection, shoulds and shouldn’ts and setting values. Saying I should be fitter- isn’t actually a goal, or atleast not an achievable one. Saying I should be or should do something implies that it should (there we go again) just occur and doesn’t hint at progress, effort or working towards things. It also, as I’ve already stated once before- sets us up for instant failure. However, making goals or identifying your values (I want to be fitter or I want to be fit) sets you up to work towards something- not just assuming it should happen.
Let’s talk about it in terms of values- I’ll use one of my examples.
I want to be, look and feel healthy.
Now that’s a value I have and it’s one that I can work on everyday, and can continue working on for the rest of my life. It’s not something that once it happens, well that’s that and you forget about it. By thinking positive, exercising and eating well I will be living out that value.
The way I see it is values are the big umbrella for which goals fall under. My fitness goals fall under the value of wanting to be, look and feel healthy. What then makes those fitness goals so achievable is the fact that they fall directly in place with what I value in life. If we want to be successful in our lives, and aspire to big and wonderful things then I think we need to set goals that align with our values. Why else would you want to try to accomplish something that really you don’t want in your life?
So here’s what you do. Identify your values, set your goals (daily, short term, long term- whatever you want) and write down how you will accomplish them.
Value: I want to be, look and feel healthy.
Goal: Do a Les Mills Grit Strength class.
I will accomplish this by forgoing a current class one day and instead taking a Grit class. This will make me be, look and feel healthy because it burns greater calories through high intensity interval trainings, it does strength training to shape and tone my muscles, I’ll get plenty of endorphins after sweaty work, and by exercising I’m looking after my whole self.
DAILY HEALTHY THOUGHT: I can do it!
What’s one of your value and goals, and how will you accomplish it?