Disappointment

Happy first day of the weekend! How is everyones Saturday?

Mine began with some gym (yay)- I taught a 45 min body step class and did half a body pump class before scooting off to work which is where I am now- scarring my legs with a heater because it’s so darn cold and I refuse to move away from the heat! I’ve got date night ahead to look forward to and markets tomorrow, and then a few nights for some alone time with the bf as mum is away. YAY! (yay for being home alone with my man, not for mum being away- who would ever assume something so terrible).

I’ve been debating whether or not to share something with you that I find particularly embarrassing and degrading; but what they hay- I doubt anyone is reading and it’s always good to write and express your feelings is it not?

I wanted to share something with you that I am pretty embarrassed about. As a body step instructor (or an instructor of any fitness program for that matter) you are constantly being assessed and judged- wow she’s not very fit, what is she wearing, oh she stuffed up the choreo, god her voice is annoying etc- and so sometimes things around that issue can be a bit touchy. I have, well had 3 permanent body step classes already (only recently was I certified) so I felt great, was earning some extra cash and was very proud of my quick achievements! But then all of a sudden one of the gyms cancelled my two classes due to a timetable change. What a blow to the heart. Straight away I resorted to blaming myself and feeling crappy- thinking things like ‘oh they probably didn’t like you’ or ‘you musn’t  be a very good instructor’. Productive yeh?

But it didn’t take me long, although I am still a bit deflated by it, to realise maybe it wasn’t me? Maybe the members preferred different classes not different instructors- say pump or yoga to step, maybe with winter the timetable just had to change, there are numerous reasons why it could of happened, but hay it could of been me that was the problem? But really, who cares? What is the point on dwelling on the negative. Why make yourself feel crappy? If this happened to your friend would you tell her ‘oh you must be an awful instructor’- no you wouldn’t, unless you are a terrible friend and maybe you would haha!

So how do we deal with disappointment? When someone else disappoints you it is easier to move on, forgive and forget- but self disappointment… well that’s a different basket of eggs (yes I made that up). We treat it as a challenge. A challenge to better ourselves, improve, pick ourselves up and move on! And who knows, maybe it was fate telling you that you need a sleep in on a Wednesday morning instead of a 5am wake up call ;) (atleast that’s what I’m telling myself).

I’m pretty sure this picture captures it perfectly.

Don’t think, just acknowledge and move on. This technique was given to me by my counsellor to help me deal with the self judgement I experience with food and eating. But I feel it could apply to many situations.

  1. Tune into yourself completely-body, mind & spirit.
  2. Acknowledge the feelings that come up- label them, say them aloud, write them down- whatever you want.
  3. And just let them go (easier said then done right). Don’t try and deny them or push them into a deep space only for them to pop out in monster form later on. Be with these feelings and experience them fully; then just let them float away like a cloud.
  4. Continue living your fantastic life like the fantastic person you are!
I’ve actually just stumbled across a handout she gave me that might also be of assistance.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (using psychological flexibility):
  1. Contacting the present moment- be fully present.
  2. Acceptance- open up.
  3. Values- know what matters.
  4. Defusion- watch your thinking.
  5. Commited action- do what works.
  6. The observing self- access your awareness.

(Copyright Russ Harris, 2008)

I think it’s also important to question and put into perspective, how truly bad, agonizing, terrible, depressing is your situation? Many people are so much worse off and dealing with far worse things. Please don’t get me wrong, this is not to demean your situation but to rationalise it, just incase you have tendencies to be irrational…cough. Have your brief moments of feeling down (as you acknowledge the feelings and experience them fully)- because we are human- but don’t dwell on it, don’t over think it, beat yourself up over it or make a drama out of it (oh I’d never). Just be your fabulous self and try to see what good can come out of it!

Hope everyone has a rockin’ Saturday night, free of disappointments- but if not; don’t let it ruin your night/weekend/week/life, yeah? ;)

So, how do you deal with disappointment?- Hopefully, not with a carton of ice cream (although I am an avid ice cream eater and supporter, why ruin such a joyous thing like eating ice cream with all those crappy feelings? Ice cream eating should be a happy time!).

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4 comments

  1. [...] In my journey to becoming a happier and better person, I think I need to work on dropping that initial judgement and just get to know people. This definitely fits in with my Healthy Thoughts, Healthy Actions pact- don’t you think? And I definitely think judgement of others has something to do with how you judge yourself. [...]

  2. [...] all know down times are a part of life, and disappointment sucks and is inevitable (although self-disappointment shouldn’t be a regular occurrence). Unlike [...]

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